A new normal or a short memory?

The word was Gaslighting. I wasn’t familiar with the term. So I googled it and was taken to a website on domestic violence. Wow, I wasn’t expecting that. But upon further reading, it made sense considering the article that drew me to the term in the first place.

First, the definition: a form of intimidation or manipulation that can cause a person to doubt their memory, perception or even their own sanity.

Second, the article: “The Ultimate Gaslighting”, which made a case for how we will soon “forget” or overlook these current circumstances as we are encouraged through advertising, promotions, messaging of all sorts to rush back to life as we once knew it. It will be all right — just trust us!!

I can see that some people are getting antsy. People are anxious to get back to work, need to get back to work. We want a return to normal. We want our old routine back. Some are even suggesting that things aren’t as bad as they seem. (Not sure NYC would agree with that.) A shopping mall here in Nebraska has decided to do a “soft opening” next week, several days ahead of when our governor has suggested we can begin to do that. Two state senators wrote an editorial claiming this sequestering is overrated. That we have overreacted. That we need to reopen schools so herd immunity can build up.

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Has gaslighting begun?

I’m not using this platform to take a stand one way or the other. All I can really do is reflect on my own situation and how that plays out for me. Right now I choose to continue my social isolation and distancing. It even occurred to me that this sequestering I’m doing is not unlike settling in to retirement. Clearly, it’s a far more remote retirement than I’d choose, but spending more time at home is undoubtedly one of the things I’m doing in my retirement. So far, not a bad thing.

But it’s also made me stop and think about nearly every action I’m taking here at home. For instance, my usual running to the grocery store at every whim. Now I’ve structured my trips to twice a week. With list in hand, I call in my order, the staff brings it to my car and I hand them a check. That process would do well in later years if I had trouble getting around.

Next stop, my closet as I dress for the day. I’m not going to work. Never will. So what do I put on. I’m certainly not going to stay in my robe and pj’s all day. But do I really need all those clothes even though I absolutely love all that textiles, clothing and design entail. I feel the urge as I receive catalogs from J.Jill, Talbots and a dozen other clothing outlets. But I will refrain and even check out some websites to maybe sell some of my gently used professional clothing.

All my daily activities deserve some review. Can I live well with less? Can less really be more? Not the American way, necessarily, but not a bad approach going forward.

But human nature has a short memory. When we get through this, which we will, I dare say most of us will forget some of the lessons we should be learning. Like a little stockpiling. Maybe the Mormon church advice on having a year’s supply of food is not a bad idea. But few will probably do it. I’m glad school children and families in need are being aided by food banks during this disruption. But will we remember that under normal conditions nearly half our food supply in this country is wasted.

And what about the connections, or reconnections, we’ve made with friends and family. Will we continue those visits or just drop back to surfing the net and forget regular check-in phone calls.

Could we actually simplify our lives?

Can we simplify yet still live full lives? I think so. But will we do so?

As we return to normal, will we learn from our present circumstances or will our current lifestyle with less be nothing more than a memory.