Letting go is hard to do.
Such a silly thing…..a little cowgirl hat — old, dirty, tattered and torn. My granddaughters didn’t even play with it. But here it remains, stuffed in a drawer, and I just can’t seem to throw it away.
Why is it so hard to let go of certain things. I pondered that as I looked at that little brown hat I proudly wore so many, many years ago when my family made our annual excursion to the Big Rodeo in Burwell, Nebraska.
We weren’t necessarily big rodeo fans; we just enjoyed going to the rodeo every year and, for me, it was an excuse to buy a new rodeo outfit (that I probably never wore again). But that little hat has stayed with me and in my memory. Why, I wonder. Is it because it bears the autograph of Casey Tibbs, a well known and successful saddle bronc rider. I certainly never aspired to be a rodeo contestant. But I’ve always enjoyed watching rodeos and I love horses.
Some memories just tug at our hearts. They seem to resurrect feelings that we might otherwise ignore and yet if brought to mind, feel warm and inviting. Like old friends who just seem so comfortable to be around.
But whether it’s old friends, old memories, or just old “stuff”, it can be hard letting go of it. Hence, the hat. Maybe that’s one reason most of us have way too much “stuff.” We can’t seem to let go or don’t know what to do with it. Sometimes the item might not hold a lot of sentimental value, but it’s still too personal to send to a thrift store or donate to charity. Like all the t-shirts from family reunions. I’d rather not see my family name displayed on the back of an unknown person.
Decluttering and organization experts have all sorts of advice on how to let go and minimize our belongings. They seem to all agree that giving up the sentimental items is the hardest. So if it’s a process you’re after, they say don’t start with those things. Head instead for that kitchen drawer full of gadgets you probably don’t use, or a “junk” drawer that always needs cleaning out. Another alternative is to use the item. If you have an entire set of dishes, maybe save one plate for display and let loose of the rest. Taking a photo can provide a visual keepsake and use a lot less space.
Yet, I was determined to answer to myself why I couldn’t let go of that little hat. I will say that it has been helpful to write about it. Almost cathartic. It also made me sift through stacks of photos (another purging job) to look for the photo of myself in that hat. I even did a little research about Casey. There’s a Casey Tibbs Museum and Conference Center in his hometown of Fort Pierre, South Dakota. At the time he signed my little hat, he was at the height of his rodeo career as a saddle bronc rider. Between 1949 and 1955, he won a total of six PRCA saddle bronc riding championships and went on to star in and produce several rodeo-themed movies. In spite of his success, Casey kept his down home manner, making a point to sign autographs at rodeos (thanks, Casey) and work with young 4-Hers, helping them hone their riding and rodeo skills. Casey sounded like a real nice man.
In my search for insight, I came across a 3-step bit of advice that made sense to me.
–First, accept the fact that the process can be difficult, maybe even emotional. But if you keep at it, you build strength and confidence in yourself that you can take on the task and get it done. Again, maybe start with easy stuff and move on to the more sentimental items.
–Second, tell the story. The story can be shared in a variety of ways. Like what I’m doing right now, or sharing the memory and item with your family. Simply “doing” something with the item can bring attention and finality to it.
–Then take a victory lap. Congratulate yourself for having gone through the process and, hopefully, made a decision.
So where am I in that process. The little brown hat is ready to be purged. I’m ready to let it go.
Casey had a good run, passing away in 1990 while watching the Super Bowl at his home in Pasadena, California. The Burwell rodeo continues to this day, featuring up and coming riders still trying to achieve Casey’s record. I may go to the rodeo later this summer but the little brown hat will finally be put to rest. I thought about sending it to Casey’s Museum but it clearly is not presentable enough.
Happy trails, little hat. Thanks for memories.