Mothers and daughters and life, oh my!

I clicked to place the order. Project completed with hopes that it will arrive by Mother’s Day.

In a post of a few months ago about “what I do all day,” one of the tasks I identified was taking a bite of that enormous task of organizing family photos. The specific approach I used was focusing solely on the photos of one of our two daughters, who also has two daughters of her own.

The result was a memory book for Mollie that will be her Mother’s Day gift.

I titled the book “Tell Us More,” because the message was as much to Mollie’s two daughters as it is a memory book for her. Of course it was a memorable process for me too. And as we move toward the celebration of Mother’s Day, I reflect on the life-changing experience of being a mother.

Quotes, advice and information abound on the subject of motherhood, but at the end of the day, it’s a very personal journey, one of ups and downs, gifts, blessings and challenges. It is, at the same time, so natural and necessary, but so very truly unique. It’s an experience I’m so very glad I have.

Carl Gustav Jung wrote that “Every mother contains her daughter in herself and every daughter her mother, and that every woman extends backwards into her mother and forward into her daughter.” However I might untangle that message, the bonds created between mother and daughter can be unbelievably strong, sometimes whether we realize it or not. As author Nancy Friday described in her book, My Mother, Myself, a daughter may distance herself from her mother as she establishes her own life roles. But that first love and bond from a mother can be unbreakable and, ultimately, like it or not, part of us becomes our mother. I still remember my husband’s grandmother telling me: “If you want to see yourself at 80, look at your mother.”

I clicked to place the order. Project completed with hopes that it will arrive by Mother’s Day.

In a post of a few months ago about “what I do all day,” one of the tasks I identified was taking a bite of that enormous task of organizing family photos. The specific approach I used was focusing solely on the photos of one of our two daughters, who also has two daughters of her own.

The result was a memory book for Mollie that will be her Mother’s Day gift,

I titled the book “Tell Us More,” because the message was as much to Mollie’s two daughters as it is a memory book for her. Of course it was a memorable process for me too. And as we move toward the celebration of Mother’s Day, I reflect on the life-changing experience of being a mother.

Quotes, advice and information abound on the subject of motherhood, but at the end of the day, it’s a very personal journey, one of ups and downs, gifts, blessings and challenges. It is, at the same time, so natural and necessary, but so very truly unique. It’s an experience I’m so very glad I have.

Carl Gustav Jung wrote that “Every mother contains her daughter in herself and every daughter her mother, and that every woman extends backwards into her mother and forward into her daughter.” However I might untangle that message, the bonds created between mother and daughter can be unbelievably strong, sometimes whether we realize it or not. As author Nancy Friday described in her book, My Mother, Myself, a daughter may distance herself from her mother as she establishes her own life roles. But that first love and bond from a mother can be unbreakable and, ultimately, like it or not, part of us becomes our mother. I still remember my husband’s grandmother telling me: “If you want to see yourself at 80, look at your mother.”

I also recalled a comment my mother said to me, after a teenage argument, she looked at me and said, “Don’t you know that as your mother I’d walk through fire for you.” Yes, mothers are prepared to make huge sacrifices for their daughters.

A daily devotional I read recently spoke of the ultimate sacrifice given if you’re a believer of Jesus Christ. Then later that same day I listened to a priest’s homily as he referenced the similarity of a mother’s sacrifice in giving birth and a mother being the good shepherd to her children. A striking comparison.

Motherhood: beautiful, meaningful and fulfilling. However, from the moment of birth, a mother begins the process of letting go. For some that can be extremely difficult. Evelyn Bassoff’s book, Mothers and Daughters, Loving and Letting Go, chronicles the lives of patients she’s counseled who have struggled with their own identities as their daughters discover their own.

Now here I am in the role of grandmother — the elder mother, if you will. I think about by own mother, how she accepted all the transitions she made in that role and how pleased she would be to know that her great-granddaughter bears her name of Clara. And as I watch Mollie navigate the terrain and angst of her two preteen daughters, I wish for her the best. I suggested she pull out the Judy Blume books she read at that age.

What I find most remarkable and fulfilling right now is how my daughters have now become my best friends. We can talk endlessly about all sorts of things. Despite their busy lives, they check in regularly, and I know that someday the role reversal may take place when my daughters may assume some sort of caregiving role to me.

Making cookies with my granddaughters recently, I recalled a story about their mother. They remarked, “Really? She never told us that. She never tells us anything about when she was a little girl. ” Well, hold on girls. A present will be arriving soon that will hopefully change that.

Of course that may leave my second daughter wondering about her memory book. That will come, but I have to wait for the right inspiration. The two women couldn’t be more different in personalities, so Jill’s memory book will take a different twist but it will still hopefully be a meaningful journey down memory lane and a gift to her son as well.

To my daughters and all mothers — Happy Mother’s Day.